I början av Januari 2014 låstes Whoa och du kan alltså ej logga in eller skriva något nytt i forumen. Innehåll i forum osv kommer finnas tillgängligt. Läs Mer »

My loveletter to earth

Övrigt - Vardagsfilosofi

   

2005-01-03 13:08

My loveletter to earth

Im thinking suicid.
Im thinking death.
If life should contain broken heart over and over again I don’t want to be a part of the future history any more. I sometimes wish I were never born. Life has already giving me the deadly taste of blood. And I didn’t enjoy it. Although I am grateful. I got the best friend. She is worth gold. She really is. And she is the gravity keeping me to earth a minute longer every second she breaths. She is the proof that a human can love. She is my own target for love. If the rain down my cheeks falls continually I won’t search for a reason to be happy again. I know now there is none. The only reason you can walk, breath and see is for you to bring the world further and further in to the future. Isn’t it a blast? Your meaning in life is to help another hero to be born. Maybe you will be the one to raise him. Maybe you are just another spot living to serve everybody else’s mind.
I know how to love, I’ve been there too. Whether you believe it or not I did love you. With all my heart. You took it all with you when you left. Now there is nothing left of that me today.
How am I suppose to love as somebody else?
Against all odds I do. And that hurts. Because every minute of loving her I get a little bit more scared that she will take the last pieces of my heart. Over and over again I keep telling myself she’s my friend. But still the fear haunts my world each second I take a breath.
Nothing can part us. So we said a million times to the whole world.
A moment with her makes everything look a little bit more beautiful. I don’t want to leave her alone in this mad world. We jump together. I can wait with a small smile resting in my heart.
From time to time I do smile. I smile with all the pieces of my heart. Often this is because of her. Seldom is it because of somebody else, but when it is, God crosses his fingers and swear, this time she can be happy for the rest of her life. I can live with that. I know I’m not the only one, and there will be millions and billions after me.

Don’t trust me. I don’t know the meaning of truth. And I don’t want to learn.
Why should I be honest when nobody else is?
Why should I tell everybody the truth when nobody else is telling me the whole truth?
I bet you don’t have the answers of all my questions. Not a single one of them.
Have you ever been perfectly good a whole day? Have you walked a whole mile not thinking anything bad about anything? Have you if just for a day been perfect?
The biggest question is; have you ever tried to?
I can’t teach anyone how to live. I don’t know how to myself.
I guess I haven’t even tried hard enough to breath correctly.
I write in another language because I can’t even speak my own good enough to let my thoughts get a worthy explaining. I don’t know any language that can. Do you?
I’ve tried. I’ve tried all that. But I have failed twice as many times as I tried.
Will it ever be right? No. It not supposed to.
The little voice in my head telling me not to cry will eventually kill me. I want to cry.
I need to .

Finally I promise to be a better person. A better loving person.
I will never let you down again. But we both know that not even suicide can make that sentence a true word. Maybe I lied the whole letter trough. You will never know.
Remember I love, loved and will love.

This could be my goodbye letter, but it’s not. It’s the world and the very reality we live in.


2005-01-03 14:55
ååå lig med mig
"IT'S AN OLD GAME, MY LOVE..."

2005-01-04 18:14
I don’t write this because I’m dying. I write this because you are.
You won’t last here on earth longer than anyone else. Probably not even that long.
If I could I would save you, and help you, but I cant, I’m not god you know.
I can only give you advices and hope that you’ll follow them.
If you ever see something you don’t like, say so.
Spit on it, punch it, do whatever crosses your mind that very moment.
If someone makes you happy, act like it was the first and last time.
If somebody ever bothers to love you, love him or her twice as much back.
If someone makes you sad, make him or her three times sadder.
Have you ever been at the dentist, feeling him dragging your cheeks more and more away from each other, almost painfully much?
That’s how happy you supposed to be every time someone is doing something for you.
Have you ever been really nervous and thought that you were about to loose someone next minute and told him or her how much you appreciate his or hers existent?
That’s how much you should appreciate the one you love everyday.
Have you ever lost a toy which your sister or brother took and then cut of his or hers hair?
That’s how much you should overreact if somebody hurts your feelings.
Do always feel special, and remember always to smile. Whatever you do, smile. Wheatear you are cutting of somebody’s hair or killing someone’s mother.
Like I said. You are dying. And you are dangerously close to the end.
I won’t grief. Not one second. You have your shared time here on planet earth.
I won’t even miss you. No one will eventually remember you. And then you will find out your time here at earth wasn’t worth anything. It was no good and absolutely no useful.
Or was it?
It’s your decision to make. If your time should be useful and if it should make change for humanity. Do you have the strength? Do you have the guts? It’s up to you.

If you now are stupid, you will follow my every advice, and then,
eventually ask me why nothing happened, why everything went wrong.
Eventually you will find out on your own you were just another test person in my own world.
And eventually I will explain to you that there is no right way of living.
And now it’s up to you to feel stupid believing there is.
You are close to the end, even closer than before.
Can you still breathe? Check your pulse.

There are different ways to live though.
You can believe in something. Like God, or Allah.
You can take one day at a time.
You can stress your time throughout the whole day, all days a week.
Or you can not care.
There are million different ways. There aren’t one identical someone else’s way.
If you try to live like someone else you will die faster than you can say your own name.
That’s why I surely can say you are dying. Don’t try to look like someone else.
Don’t try to walk in his or hers shoes. You won’t succeed anyway.

You can only be sure on one thing. You will never get out of this alive.

When the end comes, will you remember the good things that happened, or the bad?

2005-01-04 22:39
nu tycker jag du va tråkig...
(”)_(”)_.-””-.,
´ . . ´; -._, ´)_ "jag kommer fucka ur din tråd om du ska vara
( o_, )´ __)´-._) respektlös" /Amar F18

2005-01-05 01:32
Men vafan, du e ju hur cool som helst!
Du ska inte tänka sånna negativa tankar.
Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.

2005-01-05 03:10
Jo det är sant, man måste få vädra sitt sinne ibland.
Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.

2005-01-05 13:41
virre jag längtar efter den boken.
"IT'S AN OLD GAME, MY LOVE..."

2005-01-05 18:39
haha
ni är dumma i huvudet

2005-01-06 18:34
bra virre. vackert

2005-01-10 12:04
I’m bothered.
I saw them.
They knew what love was. They knew what it really meant being in love.
I saw them waiting on the bus. He helped her to get on the bus, she, continually smiling towards him.
They had this cute little dog that he carried inside and she paid.
They sat down next to each other and she kept the dog in her knee.
Eventually she moved forward one seat because the dog wasn’t comfortable.
She held his hand behind her back, afraid to let go. He smiled all the time and every time she had to let go of his hand he was resting his hand on her shoulder just to make sure that he was there.
Each time they looked at each other I could see love shining in the air. I swear. This made me felt two things. Happy like never before, and at the same time I felt sad as never before.
I was ashamed.
I have only loved one person my entire life. Still I cry about every guy braking up with me. I don’t love them, I may not even like them, but still I do that every time. Every single one of them between my only love and today. Will there ever be an end of that?
I don’t know what love is. I couldn’t possible do.
Until today I have been a drama queen. I realise that now. Now I have a perspective of what love could be. I guess I have wanted to reach to their status of love, but just didn’t succeed.
And with my attitude I don’t think I will ever do.
I will try to promise myself to not argue about a broken relationship again unless it is real love.
Their happiness makes me want to cry. Of happiness. There is hope. The world isn’t all bad, evil and cold. There is true love. They gave me hope about the future.
I decided not to give up hope of finding the right one for me. I know now that he does exist. Until I find him I will try to be a better person, getting ready for him.