--- L Y R I C S ---Self torture, self proclaimed victim depression this/ depression that, i know that its sickening but im better when Im sufferin, bleedin in my stomach the doctor thought it was cancer, i was sittin there mumbling my numbers in just like pops, already settled in chances are pretty big that Im fine, Im busy wonderin what happens when i tell her im sick, will she reject me or take me back just simply out of pitty, heres a question why the fuck am i thinkin of her? what about moms and my sister when i tell her, thank god the doctor was wrong but my mind is against me, it tries to be friendly whenever Im feelin sorry for my self, it seeks pitty But I really dont amuse it, Maybe only trough music I can manupilate/ Just call it a gift, know how to use it Am I really that wrong for being extremly selfish Just cause you want to go open don’t mean the bitch’ll accept it I dont wanna bond yet, I dont wanna start shit You feelin cosy, bitch get the fuck out of my appartment Maybe its my past tho, maybe its the capsules Maybe its simple Im just a complete fuckin asshole I dont really know- Im busy fightin off deamons They haunt me/ At night when I sleep, I hear them breathin Karma is hell of a bitch and shes my ex girl It feels like I can literally pick up the phone and text her Maybe leave a voice mail, follow what my voice says Music is my weapon of choice, You got no choice here Ill be the captain, you can saftey that belt now Watch when it happens, Cromies havin a melt down Everything collapses, People are being let down The plane just crashes, I adapt like a reptile Check out completly I ain’t bussy just ponderin’ If faith’s got a thing for me, fuck it/ I ain’t aruging I just try to pick up the pieces after the dust settles down Today Im ok, I wonder how Tho of all the fuckin’ drama, suprised I didnt go postal If we go way back, you know me then let me show you Friends say I changed they tell me this ain’t the old you That was a completly differant person back in 02 Told you/ Guess Im lucky to be alive tho’ Depression that deep, I was actually suicidal Never had it me, But I tried to- Today I aint religious but I read both Koran and the bible Mom doesnt blame me, Im just thinkin’ out logical You can only depend on yourself, Survival mode…