Tsun D - Black Holes [Poetry]

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Borttagen 2005-03-10 12:03	Tsun D - Black Holes [Poetry] Tsun D - Black Holes Once upon a time, I was getting sunburns, I was not alone, I was warm in the coldest nights, Now I'm stuck in a endingless slumber, Dreaming dreams that slowly dies. I can't forget the feeling of you kissing me, I'm alive because I'll never forget you. I'm still dying because of what you did to me, I'm alive because I'll never forget you... When I close my eyes life is heavenly, But I need a much better reason to fight. Because no man can change his destiny, And I'll still have nobody to lean on tonight. So I choose to live in the dark, Ever since we last spoke. You broke into my heart, And created a blackhole. I choose to live in this darkness, I'll embrace the dark every second in life. Because the shadow behind me is getting larger, Every step closer I get to the light. Once upon a time I was never frozen. Once upon a time I was warm in the coldest night. Once upon a time I was dreaming happy dreams. Once upon a time I was getting sunburns... That's what it should look like... Not longer a work in progress. Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
Borttagen 2005-03-10 12:32	sonetter är otroligt fett! jag gillart fett! keep on doin your thing! Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
PhilAhz0phee F41 Poet 2005-03-10 12:35	... Now I'm stuck in a endingless slumber, Dreaming dreams that slowly dies. "dreaming dreams that slowly die" passar bättre. f.ö tycker jag att det var helt fantastiskt. What I said, yo!
Borttagen 2005-03-10 13:11	Thanks both of you, Keep on reading my lyrics! And Philahz0phee, You're so right, Don't know why I put an s after die, Damn... Thanks! Peace! Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
spex 2005-03-10 14:26	d ska va ett s på sista raden, annars blire fel. annars så heter det endless och: I can't forget the feeling of you kissing me, I'm alive because I'll never forget you. I'm still dying because of what you did to me, I'm alive because I'll never forget you... - känns bara ditsatt. sämre uppbyggnad än allt annat annars va d väl aight.. prova dig på andra texter också, inte bara dikter. norman bates behemot bubba fett alfred bello arthur's detour azazello
Borttagen 2005-03-10 14:34	Aight, Thanks for your opinions and corrections! Those 4 bars you mentioned are... Personal.. Just me and the person I write about that really understands them... Thanks anyway! Peace! Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
Vanskapt_ P36 2005-03-10 14:39	Nice nice nice!
Borttagen 2005-03-10 14:40	Thanks dawg! Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
NickoKick P38 2005-03-10 14:48	som sagt, jag diggar upplägget som fan, du placerar raderna på ett stiligt sätt vilket enligt mig ger mer kraft åt texten. det är tight. "Jag hatar inte mycket, men när någon uttalar whoa fel, börjar jag hata den personen." - Dr.Octagon
Borttagen 2005-03-10 16:01	thanks mayn! keep it up! Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
Borttagen 2005-03-10 16:05	The last 4 bars shouldnt be there, Hwarang missed them when he edited my lyrics! The ending: Once upon a time I was getting sunburns... look past the last 4... peace Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
Borttagen 2005-03-10 16:21	Once upon a time I was getting sunburns, Never frozen, I was warm in the coldest nights. Now I'm stuck inside an endless slumber, Dreaming beautiful dreams that slowly dies. I still smile sometimes, Sometimes it's heavenly, But I need a much better reason to fight. I'm so lonelym, And to die is every mans destiny, And I won't have anyone to lean on tonight. So I choose to live in the dark, I've been living there ever since we last spoke. You just came and broke into my heart, Started it up again but left me with a blackhole. I'm still living in the same darkness, I'm embracing the dark every second in life. Because the shadows behind me just gets larger, Every step closer I get to the light. Once upon a time I was never frozen. Once upon a time I was warm in the coldest night. Once upon a time I was dreaming happy dreams. Once upon a time I was getting sunburns... That's what it should look like... Not longer a work in progress. Done. Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.
Borttagen 2005-03-12 00:19	upp Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.

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