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Jontraz - DOn't Give A Fuck

Vår Hiphop - Lyricism

   

2007-05-17 01:16

Jontraz - DOn't Give A Fuck

Första låten på engelska, spelar in den snart. Kritik tack :)


verse1:
ladies and gentlemen, please stay seated
listen to this shit for a second, then you may beat it
my brothers can you feel it, my sisters can you see it
My flow is coming at you so you might as well greet it
ofcourse i wanna be the, guy who pimps the chicks
but the cops are stopping me, so lets fight those fucking pricks
slice,cut,punch and kick, thats how we go at em
more splatter and phatter than fucking marshall mathers
yeah im a pighater, ill give you that one
bitch back off, before you sing your last song
ill bring the backup, and fill the police station with zombies like im the fucking king of CAPCOM
but i dont give a fuck if you like me or not, its Jontraz baby the definition of hot
and ive got an open spot, so bring your whole squad, open up a can o' whoop-ass
and slay these fucking cocksuckaaas!

chorus:
Cuz i spit these rhymes, like i dont give a fuck
ima win this time, and i dont give a fuck
if you died when you tried, i just dont give a fuck
cuz your fine bride's mine, and i just dont give a fuck
(x2)

verse2:
im a verbal murderer, surgal slaughterer, ill choke your bitch with that fucking chain you bought to her
youre slain and youre outta here, im a fucking beast, and i feast on your beats so let me wet your sheets
feel the power of the streets, we're coming at you now
and kick your ass more than the guy from Kung Pow
bitches lie down, and nobody gets hurt
pick up your guns boys and lets go to work,
lets go to church, and pray for you bitches
wimp youre dickless why i kick ass is none of your business
i witness you fitness, your body is a shitnest
and you wonder why your chick wanna be my mistress?
its sickening, how i flip this fucking mic
with your flows i understand why your bitch became a dyke
if you dont feel this hype, muthafucka i just might
slice you clear open and laugh at your fright!

chorus:
Cuz i spit these rhymes, like i dont give a fuck
ima win this time, and i dont give a fuck
if you died when you tried, i just dont give a fuck
cuz your fine bride's mine, and i just dont give a fuck
(x2)

verse3:
now when youre screaming and shrieking for freedom
im seeking a reason to stop beating your lead up
stop being a pussy, stand up for whats right
stop being a pussy, rap about whats tight
stop the emotional, its only for the weak
youre acting like a freak when i make your body leak
your girl wants my dilsnick, so much that she feels sick
you have no appeal bitch, your girl wants some real dick
but i have to seal this, letter its better man if you never ever
see this letter cuz your girlfriend's gettin wetter, i told you ive never met her
but that was a lie, ive been boning her this whole time, are you out of your mind?
man your chick is so fine, why cant she just blow my, dick.... but you cant let her go? fine.
fuck it, blow my brains out with a rocket, but remember when i asked your girl she agreed to suck it

chorus:
Cuz i spit these rhymes, like i dont give a fuck
ima win this time, and i dont give a fuck
if you died when you tried, i just dont give a fuck
cuz your fine bride's mine, and i just dont give a fuck
(x2)

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2007-05-17 16:11
Upp! Lite kritik?
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2007-05-18 18:30
upp för fan läs!
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2007-08-16 03:45
jäfligt najs den bör du också spela in :P
-B-

2007-08-16 09:34
Gillade inte, tänkte på Eminem hela tiden som gjorde det mkt fetare.
www.myspace.com/suspectrap

2007-08-16 19:54
helt okej diggade iallafall, spela in den!
• honor. loyalty. reputation. respect. •

2007-08-16 22:16
spela inte in den, försök inte leka eminem, skriv en ny & spela in den, eller byt reff iallafall.
www.myspace.com/suspectrap

2007-08-17 03:07
Nice text, gillas! som sagt va spela in den, skulle vara fresh :)

Peace
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2007-08-17 08:49
Nothing more nothing less
//Crooked//

2007-08-17 16:27
...Eminem? har han någon liknande låt?
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2007-08-17 16:59
Nej, kanske "eminem" stil. Men själv gillar jag skriva sånt och detta var fett. Spela in !
"Jestem skazany na sukces "

2007-08-17 19:45
HAn ahr gjort en likadan reff med just dont give a fcuk på lsutet av raderna
www.myspace.com/suspectrap

2007-08-17 21:45
ja men hur många rappare härmar inte varandra nu för tiden ?
"Jestem skazany na sukces "

2007-08-17 22:04
Allvarligt, har Eminem ett Whoa-konto under namnet Jontraz? Måste varit svårt å skriva detta med tanke på "Just don´t give a fuck", "Still don´t give a fuck", "under the influence" etc etc, alla med författaren Eminem. Tänka sig...
www.myspace.com/micehproduction

2007-08-17 23:34
HAr inte sagt det idiot sug en kuk skjut din brud
www.myspace.com/suspectrap

2007-08-18 01:33
Menar du mig eller ?
"Jestem skazany na sukces "

2007-08-18 03:06
jahapp, men jag tänkte inte på eminem när jag skrev det.
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2007-08-18 03:17
more splatter and phatter than fucking marshall mathers


du tänkte inte på det? ;D
 

2007-08-18 08:36
Det var ju för rimmets skull. Men jag får be så JÄVLA mycket om ursäkt miceh, eftersom jag dock har hört låtarna men inte kopierat dom. Dö i aids.
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2007-08-18 11:29
Jag har faktiskt HIV... måste inte bli så ledsen för att du inte kan komma på nåt själv, d e ganska vanligt ska du veta...
www.myspace.com/micehproduction

2007-08-18 14:16
Arek

Ja
www.myspace.com/suspectrap

2007-08-18 23:47
ge dig, ska du sprida hat kan du göra det i spegeln.
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2007-08-18 23:55
va rolig farbror wannabe slim shady var då
www.myspace.com/suspectrap

2007-08-19 01:16
Men om ni kan skita i refrängen och kolla på verserna?
Få höra vad ni har att säga om dem.
Och vill du mer Suspect så ta det i gb din faggot.
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2007-08-22 12:00
In my opinion..
I´ll say this:

"and i feast on your beats so let me wet your sheets"

Huh?? The way you´re saying it, it sounds like you´re talkin about peein in somebody´s bed?!

Is THAT what you´re tryina say?
If not, then you should of phrased it differently.

Like:Tha dawg is unleashed, n´ I feast on yer beats.
Yo! I´m that fuckin beast that makes you wet yer sheets.

(although usually, one would say:wet your "bed")

I guess you could say wet yer sheets, but it´s more correct and on point to say, "make you wet yer bed", since if a person wets
their sheets, most likely the bed would also get wet.

Unless they rockin rubber sheets..


"im a verbal murderer, surgal slaughterer, ill choke your bitch with that fucking chain you bought to her" 

Now see, this one´s got several flaws.

Like, it´s called surgical. Not surgal.

And THIS would be a more correct and accurate way of phrasing this sentence: I´ll choke yer bitch with that fuckin chain you bought her.

("you bought to her" is  an incorrect way of phrasing it, I´m not sure what it is, but it´s NOT english).

And actually,  "I´m a verbal murderer, this is surgical slaughter,
ill kidnap yer daughter, and choke yer bitch,
with that fukken chain you bought her!"

FLOWS a LOT better-don´ it?

up yer rhymin. You had some half decent stuff in there, I guess.
But really- get bacl to the drawing board and get ya shit tighter.

Write until you get tired of writing, and feel like saying phucc this rap shit!! And THEN, you go ahead and write EVEN more!

That´s the only way to do it.

Stay up.




i witness you fitness, your body is a shitnest

"more splatter and phatter than fucking marshall mathers"
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2007-08-22 12:06
Oh yeah, I forgot to comment on these:

"i witness you fitness, your body is a shitnest"

Dude...that ain´t even a word! Did you mean shitness?


"more splatter and phatter than fucking marshall mathers"

Comment: now see, this is saying a lot.
Em is pretty nice with his.

So if you gone go ahead and say that you´re phuccin phatter than
Marshall mathers. You´ll NEED to at least be a NICE lyricist.
And if you´re not, this line is gone sound pretty phony..

Jussa´ tip dun.

stay up.
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2007-09-22 12:49
Aight, thanks for the time taken Bazooka, I'll work on it
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Sångare

2007-09-23 00:28
Lite missningar som sagt :P men annars diggar ja faktiskt den. De luktar ju Eminem över vissa delar, men men. Man kan inte ha Patent på rimmen folks :D hade man havt de hade Hiphopen dött ut för länge sen ju. Ha de
Joshan-NoBrainProductions-Joshan-HomeRecStudios.

2007-09-23 00:35
Bra jobbat mannen ..är inte så skillad på engelska så jag kan ge någon utförlig kritik men jag diggar texten och flowet

peace
---------Reklamplats---------

2007-09-23 02:49
That´s wuz up dawg, ain´t no hatin over here,
just hittin you off with sum pointers.

Stay up and keep writin!
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2007-09-23 21:10

Ganska nice.

Dags att ta in folk på min "kompislista" igen så bara att lägga till mig. (förutsatt att vi snackat då).

2007-09-24 07:35
Tack alla! :)
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