I början av Januari 2014 låstes Whoa och du kan alltså ej logga in eller skriva något nytt i forumen. Innehåll i forum osv kommer finnas tillgängligt. Läs Mer »

SlickTrigga - Holdin it down

Vår Hiphop - Lyricism

   

2009-04-14 04:05

SlickTrigga - Holdin it down

Ya iz some hoe ass bitchez,kam-fam yadda yadda stealin Camrons name//
When u see me on tha streetz i got tha yayo yayo aka cocaine//
Servin fiends on tha regular gotta get tha paper and I gotta get it fast//
Fuck the po po they just in the way watch out they coming out the closet cuz they fags//
Blowin on some hash floatin off to outer space like a muthafuckin astrounate//
Dont be a snitch nigga dont tell stay true to da game iz what I was thaught//
Fucken bitch fall back like a fadeaway jumpshot imma block ya ass real good//
Bustin shots aiming for ya head so fuck wearing vests its live in tha hood//
Ya cant fuck with my swag im laced with tha flyest gear showing off//
Tha hataz can suck my dick ya aint gangstaz ya niggaz iz straigt up soft//
Porsche GT outside of tha club and hell yea its sittin on some asanti dubs//
Im a goon with it so imma steal that whip racing down tha highway just because//
Step ya rap game tha fuck up ya making me sad so sad i need uppers//
Everyday hanging in tha projects staying posted drugdealin muthafuckaz//
lmma dedicate this verse to my nigga Zookah holdin shit down//
Everyday wakin up to see a circus cuz ya bitchez is some clowns//

Im broke,but I got a pocket full of rocks

2009-04-14 04:34
kasst som fan lär dig av oss
Geni

2009-04-14 07:09
There you go dawg, you startin to get down whiddit ma dude. That´s str8

Doin you, on the gangsta tip.

You a stand up dude, so I´mma come atcha like a stand up dude. N´ be honest and upfront witcha.

I´m even gone str8en out my lingo fo´yuh, lol.

The potential is there. And I´ve seen improvement in every verse I read from you so far.
And this one was plenty longer than the first verse you dropped.
Which is good, see that gives me more to look at and evaluate.

So that being said, on the str8 up honest tip. I also see a lot of room for improvement.
And there´s areas of the premise of rhyming, that you gotta work on.

Strong points:

You got an overall theme, you´re not all over the place, in terms of subjectmatter, (which isn´t always a bad thing, If the writer pulls it off right, by rhyming fly) but on here, most cats can´t stay within a particular subjectmatter or, theme. And so they just end up being off point).

So the fact that you stay fairly on point within a particular subjectmatter, is a good thing.

You also got some ´tude thrown in the mix, you´re incorporating some street convo into it.
U got swag somewhat. N´ that adds to the flava.

Things to work on would be:

Better set ups for your punchlines.
Work on structure, at times the lines are too long, and sometimes, a word, or a few more words would tigthen up the bars.

And basically, another thing for you to figure out as you´re rhyming, is
HOW you wanna come accross? As you develop your style.
Think about how you wanna flip, and what you wanna say, and HOW you wanna say it.

These are just some basic things to consider.

You got the potential, all you gotta do now is put in the work and run with it.

Keep doin you.
PEACE.












Denna användare har skrivit alla inlägg där användaren har tagits bort från whoa.

2009-04-14 08:04
thanx man,ill keep in mind yo advice.
Im broke,but I got a pocket full of rocks