Mistah! It´s da...Return of tha lyrical heavyweight!

Uppin this, an´ ya´ll NEED to stop frontin.

ack like ya KNOW.

Since I don't know if you know Swedish or not(I figure you do but don't want to write a reply having to translate it afterwards...). I'll just say that this so called monster lyricism of yours didn't really shine through this text. Your rhymes,subject matter and way to spin the subject at hand where really really simple. Your rhyme scheme was extremly messed up, I guess I'll give you props for that. But the rhymes and the way to spin the topic was horrendeous.

The way you wrote the text with tons of exclamation marks really pissed me off to, sure that you want to show where you have adlibs and what not but that kind of adlibbing will be _VERY_ annoying to listen to.

back - crack

slapped - clapped

Come on you can do better than that.

aigh, cat, you got yer li´l two cents in. You´re entitled to it.
It´s all hood.

I just wanna set you str8 regarding a few things that you said:

First of all, those aren´t adlibs (the words in bold letters),
those are typed like that to signify EMPHASIS, get it??

So you´re WAY off on that one.
And to continue, there´s other things that you´re not on point with also.

You said:

"Your rhymes,subject matter and way to spin the subject at hand where really really simple. Your rhyme scheme was extremly messed up, I guess I'll give you props for that. But the rhymes and the way to spin the topic was horrendeous."


HUH??? my dude, I don´t know how old you are, or how well acquainted you are with actual rhyming, word play, metaphores and punchlines.
OR, hip hop in general. And english too for that matter..

I don´t have a very complex delivery, in the sense that ,I don´t do what a lotta cats
try to do on here:

They try real hard to seem complex and intricate, and so they drop a buncha "big words" or try to get on sum super scientifical shit, etc.
And in doin so, they come off more than a little weak, when they use words that they either don´t know very well, or can´t spell. (or BOTH).

See I´m NOT goin for a pretentious seemingly complex delivery or subject matter.
And that´s INTENTIONAL!
Becouse pretentious and obscure etc, is NOT MY STYLE-get it??

However, I do make a note of being VERY lyrical, and verbal. AND I make sure that my verses got a tight flow.

Not "horrendous", but ILL ASS subject matters. And as far as my rhyme scheme, you really seem like you was born yesterday kid.
What the HELL you know about a rhyme scheme ANYWAY??!!

And another thing (as if you didn´t know-and I know that you DON´T).

That verse right there, (my verse), that right there is called SWAGGER.
Course, you wouldn´t know nuthen about that..

And another thing, I looked around on here, (on this site).
And I already BEEN knowing for a good while, that there ain´t no one that can measure up to my lyrical prowess-and you say my rhyme scheme´s a MESS???!

SEE?
I BEEN iller!
Than Magillah gorilla!
I NUKE YA,
It´s tha ´Zookah,
The lyrical cavvy spiller!
Always TREALER,
My rhyme´s tight, muthaphucc a filler!
And every single bar I spit, call it O.J,
It´s str8 KILLAH!!!

fuck outta here with that shit you yappin.. Lmao.

I think Zooka sucks but that's just my oppinion... Nuff said.

Bazooka

Learn to write good lyrics, then u can h8 on everyone that tries to give u something to look at..

Ur rhymes was really bad, ur lines was even worse!


Practise.. Practise..

I think Zooka is good.. Nuff said!


SEE?
I BEEN iller!
Than Magillah gorilla!
I NUKE YA,
It´s tha ´Zookah,
The lyrical cavvy spiller!
Always TREALER,
My rhyme´s tight, muthaphucc a filler!
And every single bar I spit, call it O.J,
It´s str8 KILLAH!!!


DAMN

Snälla, uppmuntra inte honom.

You say you'll kill me man, ill kill you right here verbal
And i keep spitting my shit out, because my lines are eternal
Seriously man, when you come here get the dust of your rhymes before
You say you slap people ?
After im done you'll look like a humilated & blushing whore
Dont come here man, giving us the bullshit about you slapping
Laying up lines, and youll stand there wondering whats happening
The line you laid, where 2 words in each of em, but i dont mind
Because you'll be the one dropping down dead when im fine
So save your bullshit, and drop it to me & give me your best
If not, shut your fucking mouth, before i pop 9 bullets to your chest

How can you say adlibs vs emphasis is "Way off"? I figured you wanted to put more power on the word(same thing as emphasis thank you), probably by putting adlibs of some sort? The point is that it will sound like "Lil' Steven P8" making his first song with his friends and it will suck majorly. Cause it gets annoying to listen to. Now of course it might work depending on the beat and what not but to me I'd guess you'll use some kind of click 1 click 2 cliché "dirty south" beat or what not... If thats your style go you, ain't mine though, thus I say what I think about it.

Lack of complexity being intentional? I could have guessed. Doesnt mean that your rhymes have to be so simple they are weak though. Dont have to use big words to put in complexity. I understood that you use references and stuff, I totally understand what kind of flow you will get. Your rhyme scheme is somewhat abstract but like I said, I guess I'll give you props on that. I really don't know how to explain but your rhymes are weak, they have nothing special to them. Not any of them have any creativity

Ayo! The kid is BACK!
Ya´ll ain´t gettin rid of this CRACK!

Pretty much the only "multi" I'd say you had in this text and seriously would you say that is a _good_ rhyme? Mack and Mack, Clapped and Slapped. Do you catch my drift? Don't have to be something super complex or anything, let me quote snoop

"So check it, I get busy, I make your head dizzy
I blow up your mouth like I was Dizzy Gillespie
I'm crazy, you can't phase me"

There aint even multis in there but its still ait. Its not like

"First one o´ ya´ll that step to me,
is tha first one that get SLAPPED!
See, lyrically,
these verbals getchu gerbals, CLAPPED!"

Or the one after... Or the one before... Actually quote any line and it will be the same thing. I did like the inner on this one tho;

"First one o´ ya´ll that step to me,
is tha first one that get SLAPPED!
See, lyrically,
these verbals getchu gerbals, CLAPPED!

But anyway. My start post is still at it though. Your rhyme scheme was abstract, not necesserily a bad thing. It did have swagger I guess... The rhymes are horrendeous, the vocab is horrendeous... Looks like some of my early freestyles... Nah they where better^^.

Like most people have said in here, this text is not good your "lyrical prowess" is sub par, and it won't be anything else if you dont change attitude and start to take in the critics. Start to use more metaphors(atleast one good in this one would have been chill) or atleast one simile. References is allright, but shouldnt be so played, so abstractly
used(props is "hard to earn", but I GOT THAT! Guru-type clout, for example). Just feels played and forced. Mainly your text feels clichée(badly made clichée at that), way too simple. Forced, played and simply silly.

After your last post it really feels like I'm arguing with a child. And my snoop example sucked majorly but I hope you get what I mean. You don't need to be canibus or Pst/Q to have some kind of complexity(hell doesnt even have to be complex, just not _THAT_ simple)

Good luck, listen to people and one day you will be half as good of a lyricist as you say you are.

TCM:

So you got yer li´l "book" out..LOL.

Too bad it´s all BS! What a waste.

And I wanna telll ya, you don´t seem like you´re even a rapper,
and if you are, you MUST really suck at it.
You don´t even know what an adlib is???

See, in the context of rap, music and recording vocals.
ADLIBS are, when you add lines phrases or sounds to already existing vocals.

And EMPHASIS, is when you in particular stress something, i.e, I type certain words in bold letters to signify that those are to be stressed particularly, in order for the reader to get and comprehend the flow and how I enunciate the word, or end a line/ bar.

And I ain´t got a dirty south flow in the slightest.
You´re also WAY off as far as THAT.

N´ ain´t nuthin weak over here, you think that my lyrics are weak,
just becouse YOU don´t get them???

I take it that you´re unaware of the fact that as far as rhymin in english,
I´m the one that INTRODUCED and spear headed,(yeah, look that word up) the use of multi syllable rhymes to this site!!

I remember seein a buncha headz doin that after I had been on here for a while,
headz that dindn´t have any multiple syllable rhymes like that earlier.

No hate, I´m glad if I can help ya´ll to getcha rhymin skills up,.
Just recognice game and remember who taught it to ya.

And I already figured out that most of ya´ll (not all of you, but MANY of you), don´t know what´s cliche´ and what´s played, or what´s hot and what´s not.

Like I been saying, I realize that most of my shit is over yer heads.

And the proof for that is, that I don´t get these type of dumb ass, dim-whitted comments
on english speakin sites. So THERE.

And I´m really over here crackin up, readin comments from li´l as wipes that can´t rap a lick. They got sum weak ass shit out there, (yeah, I´ve peeped some of yer shit and it´s maad lame, I did my research, and THAT´S WHY I claim my braggin rights!).


Like dude Entertainment and Jack Vegas: Ya´ll both can´t even rap!
I read verses from both of you. And ya´ll ain´t got a single bar that
could match ANY of mine!

Ya´ll keep talkin greasy, and jumpin on tha "Hater wagon", but none of ya´ll can even see me!

And for future referrence, as far as ANYONE tryina front and say I need to learn how to rap, or how to flip metaphores, or how to structure my shit etc, ya´ll can just 86 that shit.
And do ya research.

Peep some of my other verses on here, and you WILL get tha picture!
I´m here to murk ya´ll, and I came to rip ya!!!

I´m done. And from her on out. Anybody-ANYONE that´s got sum shit to say or wanna hate
or what not. Put yer bars where ya mouth is.
And BATTLE me.

Before you jump up and pop that shit, first proove to me that you even know the first thing about rhymin, and some ill lyricism, aigh?

Anybody want it? just holla at me and we can have us a battle and throw down on sum real shit.

Gone.

Jack Vegas still owns you with a freestyle when he's drunk, but okay..

I´m the one that INTRODUCED and spear headed,(yeah, look that word up) the use of multi syllable rhymes to this site!!

LOOOL!!!

Crap.... read some from ex. Dusty and you will understand why your shit are just shit.

Why all defensive?

Maybe your friends licking your balls or something but hey... THIS IS earth... LAND!

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha


holy jesus this is hillarious. I wont bother writing a long and costructive post so that you can learn that your shit is wack as fuck. Ill write on a level you understand.

Your shit is wack, totally. You got no skill whatsoever. Dont you dare come and try to tell me i dont understand hiphop and what not. I know what a fucking adlib is. I even stated in my first post that I figured thats where you where going to have your adlibs(second or possibly even a third track to put more pressure on the word that you want, i ment adlib as in one word adlib so that it gets added and thus more force... why am i even explaining myself gosh)

i didnt mean you have a dirty south flow i said that i guessed youd use a dirty south _BEAT_ for this kind of text, hell can you even read the language you write in? Its seriously delirious. If your weak shit goes home on english sites then what about stay there. I was trying to help you evolve but if you want your weak shit to remain weak shit then continue by all means. Just get the F' away from here where people try to actually do something out of their weaknesses.

Gah cant be arsed to continue on this shit but you seriously make me laugh out loud.

The only multi-syllable rhyme you used was hustlin ones - crushing them cunts, which was CLEARLY unintentional. Everything else was just back - crack, slapped - clapped, duns - ones etc. And you say you introduced multies to this site?! LOL! All the best lyricists here are capable of using multi-syllable rhymes frequently. You don't. Also, your metaphores/similies aren't any special (although the O.J. one was OK). The verbals-gerbals internal rhyme was OK too.

So; you have single-syllable rhymes, mediocre metaphores etc., and you consider yourself better than everyone else here? And whoa's introducer of multies?! Hahahaha, geez.

If you don't mind, I'd like to have a link to one of the english forums where you get all that so called 'props'.

I mean, I have a rather hard time seeing anyone but equally worthless lyricists liking your shit.

Damn man you say that TCM has wack english?:O you should sit down with your writing block and really look through it. ir you are intentionally doing your verses so that they look like a 5 year old made it you should really look in to what real hip-hop is about. if your trying to do this played out simple ass lines good luck getting the props that you say you got.

stop hatin on people who are just trying to give you some advice on how to improve you're game. you think TCM is acting childish well look at what you have written in this thread and go cry to your mom.

Damn man, you say that TCM's english is wack? You should sit down with your writing block and really look through it. If you are intentionally doing your verses to look like a 5 year old wrote them, you should really look in to what real hip-hop is about. if your trying to do this played out simple ass lines good luck getting the props that you say you got.

stop hatin on people who are just trying to give you some advice on how to improve you're game. you think TCM is acting childish well look at what you have written in this thread and go cry to your mom.

åh kolla jag hade inte fel
han körde back - crack rim två texter i rad!

Daayuum! Ya´ll drinkin that hatorade again!

And way to jump the bandwagon and try to gang up on me too lmao!

Now sweat doe, I luve that, ya´ll must be pretty intimidated for hatin on me like that.

Funny.. ya´ll talkin that shit, but ain´t no one wanna battle.

Fukka TCM! Fukka Qnivkast! Fukka Juicy Joe! Fukka App!
Fukka Entertainment! Fukka Jack vegas!

All of you´s are under my feet like a sandal!

And I read verses from most if not all of you. and there ain´t a single one of you that
got ANYTHING, that tops my verses.

But shit, let´s make this interesting, wontchall put some munne up, and let´s do battle-
for sum endz. Getchu a stack or two together and we on.

I´m talkin on sum real face to face shit. phucc all that web server mobbin ya´ll tryina do.

lemme know iffin ya´ll want it.

Yeah fuck me cuz i fuck u up in battle... punkass bitch

I'd like to see you put your money where your mouth is and show me the forums that gives you all that 'props' your talking about.

If you wanna battle, just scream @ me!

And if you don´t-then shut tha hell up!

Zooka, just face it, you suck. It's all the same shit with crappy rhymes and it looks like a five year old did your verses.

Bazooka, I'll battle you.

So this kids name is bazookahjoe
Anyone with me when i say let's nuke a hoe
You have to realize the facts
You're so blind that your brain needs contacts
Your the one who cant get rid of your crack
And he asked for a battle so why should i cut him some slack
This battle was over before it even started
The lines you drop stink more than the gas that someone has farted
So you say that my lyrical skill is wack when i take you from my apartment
Im going to kick this so good you'll fly away like Clark Kent

när i helvete blev denna tråd en cypher?

stop hatin' on him, you're just an embarrassment for yourself n' every other cat in this void - you're talkin' like ur in the center of the worlds.. jesus, look at yourself - callin' this dude childish when ur pour that liquid on him, give him some slack n' besides ur lyric doesn't have to be top-notch if ur flow back it up.

atleast he didn't rewrite a written english song like most cats here do.
BLESS!!

It is what it is..

I got a new piece up in the lyricism forum.
It´s called;

"Phucc wit´ this! I dare ya, gah´head!!"


And to make a LOOONG story short..phucc all this bickerin, back and forth shit!

If you honestly know that you got rap skills to actually phucc with my skillz,
then by all means, HOLLA!

But if you can´t measure up, (and we both know that you CAN´T),

Then just fall the phucc BACK!! And quit ya lame ass belly achein!!

Gown.

bazookahjoe you have already been challenged by several. I wont bother wasting good lines on you tho, can freestyle 8-16-32-64 bars vs you if you want as a battle or whatever but I really dont see the point. You asked for feedback, you got feedback but just couldnt accept that some(read. all) people dont think you are "the shit". I for example was merely giving you constructive ciritism. Well not in this thread cause I've already waste too much time on you.

Sure, I'll battle you.

I'll kick it in swedish, you could use any language you want to..