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Från al-cAyn / Abū Z̨abi / United Arab Emirates
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"I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next ". They stopped doing that when I started doing it to them at funerals ."

"According to a dumbass is somebody who looks up dumbass in the dictionary"

"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow , and when I woke up, the pillow was gone ."

"Excuse me while I bash my head into a wall for a few hours, then maybe I can be at the same intelligence level as you and understand what your saying"